These letters end in tears by Musih Tedji Xaviere

Musih Tedji Xaviere is a writer, activist, and Moth Storyteller from Njinikom, Cameroon. She is now based in the United Kingdom. She is an alumna of the Goethe-Institut, the Moth, and the African Women Development Fund writing programs. These letters end in tears is her first, traditionally published, novel and it won the 2021 Pontas and JJ Bola Emerging Writers Prize. It has been translated into multiple languages, including Dutch. Xaviere is also the author of a self-published young adult novel and several short stories. Her short story ‘Clever girl’ has appeared in Odd Magazine. She has been mentored by authors Yewande Omotoso, William Moore, and JJ Bola.

The novel tells the love story of two women, a Christian and a Muslim, and goes into the realities of LGBTQ+ life in Cameroon, a country where same sex relationships are punishable by law.  The novel starts with a series of undelivered letters written by Bessem to her lover, Fatima, who has been missing for thirteen years. In the letters she looks back on their relationship which is fraught with danger. Religious influences and family prove to be too strong as both women cannot overcome their upbringing, which demands marriage to the opposite sex and conformity to the precepts of Islam, or, in Bessem’s case, Christianity.

Throughout the novel, Xaviere deals with a variety of social and political issues, including identity, familial and societal expectations, and religion. Thirteen years later, Bessem, now a university lecturer, still masks her true identity in the face of widespread homophobia. In Bamenda, the police are known to raid LGBTQ+-friendly bars and have arrested students suspected of lesbianism at her place of work. In addition, through the medium of the Internet, anti-gay vigilantism has increased, which allows citizens to blackmail unsuspecting homosexual people online. Bessem must stay silent among colleagues who support corrective rape and longer prison sentences for ‘the gays’. On the rare occasion when she does speak up, saying that the ongoing civil war between Anglophone and Francophone Cameroon is a far more important issue than the persecution of same-sex lovers, another lecturer responds: “Lesbianism is worse than war.”

As Xaviere says in an interview, “Cameroon is probably one of the worst places in the world to be gay but what I love seeing is that even under such awful conditions, LGBTQ+ people in the country still find ways to persevere and build communities. Soul mates are still able to find each other, which tells you that the human ability to love can never be stifled. The idea that flowers can grow in the desert is very beautiful to me. I wanted to tell a story that not only highlights the struggles of gay people in the country but also to celebrate how beauty can grow in the dark.”

Through the medium of Bessem writing letters, the writer emphasizes her conviction that even in awful circumstances, love is still powerful. She says the following:

“I love handwritten letters. I think letters are romantic in a way that modern ways of communication are not. Also, letter writing was the primary means of communication when I was in secondary school, my formative years, and this was the late nineties, early two thousands. Part of my book is set in that time period, so I felt that it would be a more authentic way for Bessem to communicate with Fatima, because that’s what she’s doing, she’s writing these letters hoping that Fatima would find them, they communicate her longing, her fears, and hope, I couldn’t think of a more romantic, more natural way to do it.”

In a podcast episode of BBC Woman’s Hour, it is clear that Xaviere is passionate about representation and feels the need to increase the visibility of the LGBTQ+ community. “Storytelling is a very powerful medium that can be used to change minds, decrease stereotypes, and create more empathy and I wanted to help people understand LGBTQ+ people more in Cameroon where these voices have been silenced so long and mispresented. To inspire people, to get people talking that can lead to a more inclusive society, and a hope to see more LGBTQ+ content.”

She started writing the novel in 2020 and it was just on her laptop with no real expectations for publication. It only became more real when she got offered a book deal. In the podcast she says she became frightened about what may happen to her but at the same time she states that her life was not in any way a threat to the government. Leaving for the United Kingdom was merely a precautionary measure. What she was most worried about was publishing under her own name or a pseudonym. Her statements show her ambivalence: she seems torn between the two countries. She still has family and friends in Cameroon but in the UK she says there is more of a chance to succeed as a writer. Xaviere was the first Cameroonian based there to get an international book deal. 

She says it is hard to find a publisher in Cameroon, she had to convince a female publisher to take her on because normally she would have needed a man within the negotiations to try and get a deal. The publishing industry in Cameroon is still struggling. There is a huge market for school textbooks, but it was hard to find a publisher to invest in an individual. Nowadays there are a lot of independent publishers online encouraging young writers to submit manuscripts. When Xaviere was in her twenties, she decided to self-publish a young adult fiction novel, as, at the time, there were no traditional publishing options open to her in Cameroon.

Her dream of becoming a traditionally published author only came true when she won the 2021 Pontas and JJ Bola Emerging Writers Prize for the then uncompleted debut novel These letters end in tears.

Angela Robson

Sources: 

‘A welcome addition to the growing list of literature centring queer lives in Africa’ : Shayera Dark reviews Musih Tedji Xaviere’s debut novel These Letters End in Tears - The Johannesburg Review of Books, 11 June 2024.
https://johannesburgreviewofbooks.com/2024/06/11/a-welcome-addition-to-t...

Who is Musih Tedji Xaviere? 5 Questions With These Letters End in Tears Author. Jacaranda Books UK, 28 March 2024.
https://jacarandabooks.co.uk/blogs/news/who-is-musih-tedji-xaviere-5-que...

BBC Woman's Hour: Anne Hathaway and Jessica Chastain, Breaking the cycle, Musih Tedji Xaviere, 25 March 2024.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/programmes/m001xls2